LOL!!!

[Sundar Krishna]

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[Sundar Krishna]

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her.

The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly towards him.

Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was.

The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand.

He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint... my... house."

[Sundar Krishna]

A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.

The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks, :Can your dog perform other tricks?".

"But of course", the man answers, "he can even satisfy a woman." Anxious to know more the girl leads the man and the dog into a little room above the bar. She undresses and full of expectation she lies down on the bed.

The dogs looks at her and does nothing.

"It's always the same thing with you!", the man then shouts to the dog, 'I'll show you how to do it one last time'!

[Sundar Krishna]

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist

Hello, could you give me condom ..............

I'm going to my girlfriends for dinner and I think I may be in with a
chance!" The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is
going out He returns and says, "Give me another condom because my
girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a
provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky
there too."

The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he
turns back and says "Go on, give me one more condom because my
girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always
makes eyes and since She invited me for dinner I think she is expecting
me to make a move!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left,

The sister on his right and the mum facing him.
When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying,

"Dear Lord, bless
this dinner and thank you for all you give us".

A minute later the boy is still praying;
"Thank you Lord for your kindness."
Ten minutes go by and The boy is still praying, keeping his head down.

The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even
more surprised than the others. She gets close to the boy and says in
his ear, "I didn't know you were so religious."

The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!"

[Sundar Krishna]

An English man and Tintumon met while going to the toilet..

English man: good morning, how do u do?

Tintumon: usually we remove underwear and then do, And how do u do?

[Sundar Krishna]

There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep too but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson.

The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly.

Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.

Moral of the story "One must not engage in duties other than his own"

Now take a new look at the same story...

The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night.. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dog's duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed "ME" (Met Expectations) .

Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as "star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a NEW JOB ... !!!!

[Sundar Krishna]

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.

A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'

'Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.

'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.
Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.'

Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'

'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.

'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the worldcomplete with servants,' she said.

'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'


'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'

'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'

You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'


So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.

The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.

'No Kidding,' he said..

'Thirty-five years old and youboth still believe in genies?'

[Sundar Krishna]

One day a Sardarji kidnapped a boy & he wrote a letter

“I have kidnapped your kid. So tomorrow put Rs. 2,00,000 beneath a mango tree near the school playground”.
Signed: - A Sardarji.

He pinned this letter on the boy’s shirt and sends him home, under a condition that he should show this letter to his parents.

Next day he checked the tree, the boy was sitting with a bag of Money.

He also found a note saying,

“How can a Sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji” …
“Please take the money and leave my son”
Signed: - Another Sardarji….

[Sundar Krishna]

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT CITIZENS OF INDIA :
>
>
>
> Scenario 1
>
> Two guys are
> fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks
> on.
>
> That's
> MUMBAI
>
> ----------------------------------------
> Scenario 2
>
> Two guys are
> fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends
> on their mobiles.
> Now 50 guys are fighting.
>
> You are
> definitely in PUNJAB
> !!!
>
> ----------------------------------------
> Scenario 3
>
> Two guys are
> fighting and a third guy comes along and tries to make
> peace.
>
> The first two
> get together and beat him up.
> That's
> DELHI
>
> ----------------------------------------
> Scenario 4
>
> Two guys are
> fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.
> A guy comes
> along and quietly opens a Chai-stall.
>
> That's
> AHMEDABAD
>
> ----------------------------------------
> Scenario 5
>
> Two guys are
> fighting and a third guy comes.
> He writes a
> software program to stop the fight.
>
> But the fight
> doesn't stop because of a virus in the
> program.
>
> That's
> BANGALORE
>
> ----------------------------------------
> Scenario 6
>
> Two guys are
> fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.
> A guy comes
> along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't
> like all this nonsense..
>
> Peace settles
> in...
> That's
> CHENNAI
>
> ----------------------------------------
> Scenario 7
>
> Two guys are
> fighting and a third guy comes along, then a
> fourth
>
> and they start
> arguing about who's right.
> You are in
> KOLKATA
>
> ----------------------------------------
>
> Scenario 8
>
> Two guys are
> fighting. Third guy comes from nearby house and says,
> "don't fight in front of my place, go sum where
> else and keep fighting".
>
> That's
> KERALA
> !
>
>
> ----------------------------------------
> And the best
> one is ....
>
> Scenario 9
>
> Two guys are
> fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer.
>
> All sit > together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go
> home as friends.
>
> You are in
> GOA
> !!!